Turning thirty

Kolibri has had a sudden anxiety attack over turning thirty. I, having passed that mark long ago, realized that there is very little I can say.

At some point you start to think of your life, and generally feel bad or good about it.

Thirty is as good as age as any.

Our society attaches certain labels to certain ages, and thirty is one of the ones where you are supposed to finally turn into a responsible adult (in case you hadn't done it before). I don't believe the exact age matters, but I think it is necessary for people to pause at some point and reflect. It's even inevitable. It's a part of growing up. So one should not feel too bad about it; in fact, one should welcome these moments of self-reflection. They are good.

My life changed at 27, and realized I am not who I thought I was. It took me a few years to get to grips with the fact that I am still, even at 34, at a complete loss as how to I should lead my life. It's like the more I learn, the less I know. And I guess that's how it should be. People who are older than me, feel free to correct me.

All I can do is to rely on some things that I think I know now. But I'm still "waddling through the swamp with leaking boots, in the dark with no light, and having no clue where to go; just trying to find firm ground; and not to drown."


Oletpa Janne taas niin oikeassa: Mitä vanhemmaksi tulee, sitä vakuuttuneempi voi olla siitä, että itseään ei ole ihan kaikkiseltaan löytänyt. Eikä ehkä löydä koskaan.

--mea, 26-Jul-2004

Kiitos. Minen ole kyllä yhtään varma tästä "taas" -osuudesta ;).

Mutta toisaalta, siitä voi ehkä löytää lohtua että jollain oudolla tavalla ymmärtämystä on kuitenkin karttunut.

--JanneJalkanen, 27-Jul-2004

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