The Butt Ugly Weblog

A day in the life...

So, five minutes before a telco, I grab my trusty tea mug, and head over to the coffee corner to get some caffeine brewing. On the way in, I realize I also have to go to the toilet. So I pop in for a quick whiz.

I place the mug on a side table, whip out my willy, and suddenly the left half of my brain goes: "INEFFICIENT!" (Yes, the word was in my mind with all caps and a robotic tone). "You should've put the tea to brew while taking a leak, now you're wasting time", my mind continues.

The next thought comes from the right side of the brain: "You stupid twat! It's just a minute! If you have to try to optimize your peeing, you're a fucking sad loser."

I nearly laugh, the discussion in my head is so odd. Odd, but eerie. Am I going nuts?

But hey, yeah, I'm back at work after a week's vacation. A week of rest does strange things to your mind - and so does wading through 200 unread emails.

I'll be a good corporate drone soon. Promise.

(This week, I'll be in Monaco. Say hi, if you're coming... Next week, I'll be in Madrid, and in May, on a frigging speaker tour as an invited speaker. I'll have more info on that later - at the moment I'm just a bit dazed at even the idea.)