Management vocabulary for newbies

Being a manager often means sitting in long meetings. This meeting culture obviously gives birth to new language. Here are some words I've heard being tossed around recently:

  • biobreak, n - A ten-minute break at two hour intervals to attend to the necessary biological functions that resources inconveniently have.
  • do email, v - Browse the web.
  • facebooks, n - A general word for any social networking website where you waste time.
  • lunch, n - A 45 minute period during which you consume food while continuing the meeting. Usually followed by a biobreak.
  • business casual, a - When a geek tries to appear business-like
  • "I have a slide!", i - Short for "I have been quiet very long in this meeting but I want to make sure you don't forget me, so therefore I have these slides from 1999 that I wish to make a lasting impression to you with."
  • meeting, n - a derogatory word used by software engineers to indicate a waste of time.
  • face-to-face, n - A meeting where more than half of the invited people are present physically.
  • telco, n - A meeting where less than half of the invited people are present physically.
  • information sharing, n - A meeting where less than half of the people are present mentally.
  • lids down, a - A meeting where using laptops is not allowed. Tends to be short, and seems, on the surface, highly efficient. However, it also disappears from people's memory once it is finished.
  • chairman, n - A mythical creature rumoured to be living in the Canadian forests. Believed to be extinct since 1971. Is attributed with the amazing power to keep discussion on topic.

Have you heard of any other ones?




Comments

Interestingly, "biobreak" is familiar to me not from any meeting context, but from online games... I've never heard if used outside of the gaming communitiy.

--Janka, 13-Nov-2007


agenda, n. - the topics everybody is going to avoid.

volunteer, v. - agreeing that someone not present will commit to completing a task.

twiddling, v. - technical activity that must be undertaken before a laptop can be used.

minutes, n. - blatantly self-serving document about the meeting that omits all inconvenient details.

action point, n. - a task that is completable neither during the meeting nor within the next six months.

VPN, n. - a company-enforced way to prevent participants from accessing the intranet.

working lunch, n. - similar to [lunch], but catered in the meeting room and consists of soggy sandwiches.

beamer, n. - a display device whose hum prevents any electronic eavesdropping attempts (and frustrates non-present telco participants)

soda, n. - collection of soft drinks (that has just a single bottle of coca cola).

resolution, n. - invariably one that is not displayable on the [beamer] and needs plenty of [twiddling].

lids down, n. (2) - a meeting where more than half of the invited people are asleep.

--lavonardo, 13-Nov-2007


Ehm. Sorry about the accidental links.

--lavonardo, 13-Nov-2007


Janka, considering the obvious overlap within the IT industry and the gamer population, I'm not at all surprised it crops up in other areas as well :)

Lavonardo, disabled the links. It's a wiki, even if it does not look like it :)

--JanneJalkanen, 14-Nov-2007


Are those your own inventions or quoted from somewhere? Very apt, in any case.

--Moira, 14-Nov-2007


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