The Butt Ugly Weblog

Management vocabulary for newbies

Being a manager often means sitting in long meetings. This meeting culture obviously gives birth to new language. Here are some words I've heard being tossed around recently:

• biobreak, n - A ten-minute break at two hour intervals to attend to the necessary biological functions that resources inconveniently have.
• do email, v - Browse the web.
• facebooks, n - A general word for any social networking website where you waste time.
• lunch, n - A 45 minute period during which you consume food while continuing the meeting. Usually followed by a biobreak.
• business casual, a - When a geek tries to appear business-like
• "I have a slide!", i - Short for "I have been quiet very long in this meeting but I want to make sure you don't forget me, so therefore I have these slides from 1999 that I wish to make a lasting impression to you with."
• meeting, n - a derogatory word used by software engineers to indicate a waste of time.
• face-to-face, n - A meeting where more than half of the invited people are present physically.
• telco, n - A meeting where less than half of the invited people are present physically.
• information sharing, n - A meeting where less than half of the people are present mentally.
• lids down, a - A meeting where using laptops is not allowed. Tends to be short, and seems, on the surface, highly efficient. However, it also disappears from people's memory once it is finished.
• chairman, n - A mythical creature rumoured to be living in the Canadian forests. Believed to be extinct since 1971. Is attributed with the amazing power to keep discussion on topic.

Have you heard of any other ones?