The Butt Ugly Weblog

Afterparty

Just returned from the housewarming party of the Mikki and Anne Living Arrangement. It was a good party I guess, had a couple of interesting conversations and catched up on people whom I had not met in a while. I also managed to put faces on a few names I had heard before, or talked to over the 'net.

Sometime in the early evening, there was a discussion on people, and observing them. I didn't think much of it then, but towards the end I got sort of detached from the whole party thing, sat on a chair and listened to people, not contributing anything, not being a part of any spontaneous social circle (which was probably something everyone appreciated). I suddenly started to observe small things: a small pot belly here, a slightly receding hairline there, clear wrinkles on the face, discussion about house loans, and so on; and I sort of realized how people I have known for a long time have started to grow older. The same enthusiasm is still there (perhaps a bit muted), they still look the same, but there is something different altogether. Quite a lot of those folks were people I actually physically meet only few times a year, so perhaps that is why I picked it up: the old mental image does not match with the reality anymore, and there is no gradual change to dull your senses. It's just a "BANG! You're old!"

I don't know why this bothers me. I don't even know if it bothers me. Perhaps I've just become sensitive to change itself.