HooKooBlooMaki or why Japanese and Finnish cuisine do not mix.
So you have a bunch of friends coming to dinner, and you've promised them to teach the fine art of making sushi rolls, or maki
. But they have brought an abomination with them: the traditional Finnish student nourishment that cannot even be called a sausage, because it has too much flour, and too little meat - and thus it is classified in the EU as a pastry. It is called "HK Blå", and every student in this country learns on their first year to nuke it with cheese. I think it's even a compulsory subject in most universities these days, worth a credit or half.
But since you were cooking Japanese anyway, why not try mixing these two? I've done other stupid things as well, so why not add this to the list while waiting for something better!
First, you open the package, and get rid of the non-edible skin of this common vegetable. By the way, if this picture seems... well, raunchy
to you, you should really check the warranty on your imagination. It is doing double-time.
You halve it, exposing the completely homogenous intestines of this rare creature.
Continue the autopsy, until you have something that is roughly the thickness of a ball-point pen. (Which would probably be tastier, now that I think of it.)
Put it on the rice bed, as if you were making an ordinary maki roll.
Don't forget the wasabi
, it is an important ingredient! Actually, though, in retrospect we should've probably experienced with mustard.
Rolling sushi is kinda like making love to a beautiful woman: you have to be firm, yet gentle, and hold the meat with your fingers so that it does not slip out.
Press on all sides to gain that beautiful square look, and...
Voilà! You have a beautiful sushi roll, that holds a nasty surprise within. I wish we had some Japanese around - now would be the perfect time to take revenge on all the really strange foodstuff I've eaten there. *evil grin*
The finished result may not look that great, but the taste is bad too!
(However, the tuna on the left turned out to be very satisfactory. What, did you think we only eat badly here? :-)
Do not forget wasabi! Very important!
Just to show off the concept, we also prepared a nice nigiri-sushi
with the HK Blå as well. However, the tensile strength of the "sausage" - or "wigglability", as a friend likes to put it - is a bit too high and thus it does not comform well to the contours of the sushi rice. Even after some crushing and banging.
Thanks to Tiina for being the beautiful, scantily clad mannequin for these shots. I seem to have accidentally framed you out of most of the pictures. Oops.
Update 05-02-2004: I was just notified that there's a sushi company called "makkara". For those of you who don't speak Finnish: "makkara" means "sausage". Now is this a coincidence or what?
Back to more Scientific Experiments. Comments?.
Of course, this is just an urban legend.
HK does not refer to Heckler & Koch, the renowed gun manufacturers. It could though.